Meyer: Sturgis ’05

Hello,

I don’t know how many of you use the internet. We use it a little. Read papers, shop for books, e-mail friends. And one thing about it, it beats what is on TV most of the time. And if you have a column to write, you usually can find something forwarded to you by a friend that will fit.

Dean Meyer COLUMN BOXHello,

I don’t know how many of you use the internet. We use it a little. Read papers, shop for books, e-mail friends. And one thing about it, it beats what is on TV most of the time. And if you have a column to write, you usually can find something forwarded to you by a friend that will fit.

For instance: We have this neighbor who happens to be a minister. Now, I’m not sure what nationality he is. I would guess Lutheran or Catholic. And he has been worrying about his son. Maybe that is a clue that he is not Catholic!

Anyway, his son is getting along in his teen years and he had never indicated what he wanted to do with his life. Dad was getting worried so he devised a little test. After long and hard thought, he placed three things in his son’s room. A Bible. A bottle of whiskey. And a ten dollar bill.

Padre’s plan was to peek through a crack in the door and see which would attract his son’s interest. If he picked up the Bible and began reading, he would follow in his father’s footsteps and become a man of the cloth. If the cash bribe seemed to attract the most interest, he would become a successful businessman. That would be great. But if he was attracted to the whiskey, he would become a slovenly drunk who played pinochle, golfed, and wagered on the outcome of various sporting events.

That evening when Son came home from school, as usual he headed right up to his room. Father snuck up the stairs and peered through a little crack in the door. The boy walked over to the table.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he popped the cork on the bottle, took a swig, stuck the money in his pocket, and began reading the Bible out loud!

The minister was taken aback, “Heaven forbid! He’s going to become a politician!”

That reminds me. The bike rally at Sturgis is coming up. Shirley and I haven’t been able to attend for a number of years. You remember when we took the Super 90 down there. I mentioned it in an article a few years ago.

She swore she would never go back. Well, it just happens that a bunch of friends and I have formed a gang. I mean it! An honest to goodness motorcycle gang. Well, we don’t have by-laws and stuff. I don’t think most gangs do. But some of them already have hogs. That’s what we call motorcycles. Some are looking for motorcycle mamas. And we are shaving are heads, buying black vests, putting on fake tattoos, and gluing hair on our chests. I bought one of those trucker billfolds with a chain on it. I put on my shotgun chaps, my vest, and my bandana to model for Shirley last night. When she started laughing I felt just like Jackie Gleason used to, “One of these days Alice!”

I might just leave her home and pick up a hippie on the way to the rally. If she isn’t bothered by the training wheels.

Later, Dean

Dean Meyer is a former state legislator and currently ranches in southwest North Daktoa. He has been a featured columnist around the state for many years.