Hat Tips

Something is bugging me. It’s bugs. I don’t care for bugs.

Dean Meyer
Guest Columnist

Oh, a ladybug once in awhile is kind of fun to see. And a bumblebee hovering over Shirley’s flowers is a treat. And I used to enjoy putting something down for ants to carry and marvel at how much they could lift. But by and large, I don’t care for bugs.
On the news the other day, they were telling how the demand for bugs is really growing. People enjoy bugs. For food. Really? People enjoy eating bugs.
Now many of you have tried eating bugs. If you have ever driven a motorcycle through a swarm of mosquitoes. Or been unplugging the hay cutter and happened to breath through your mouth when you are under the cutter. Or maybe were working cattle and an unlucky fly flew into your mouth when you were yelling at your wife. I mean I can eat a steak in a few bites, but a little bug gets caught in my throat and I gag.
Now they are saying eating bugs will save the planet. This is where I told Shirley to make mine a double. Eating bugs will save the planet. Then we should just get rid of all the people, and replace us with anteaters. That would really be good. Unless of course you are a person or a bug.
Now when you eat meat, or fish, you clean them. I mean you remove the insides and eat the meat.
I am assuming that if you eat bugs, you just eat the whole thing. Oh, you may put chocolate on it. Or marinate it in a wine sauce. Or drink the wine sauce and then eat the bugs. And think of the meals you could scrape off your windshield!
Years ago I was in Alaska. Up on the North Slope. You think we have big mosquitoes in North Dakota. These are nothing. I mean nothing. I swear the mosquitoes up there were nearly as big as turkeys. I mean there are mosquitoes there that you could clean and roast over a fire. I bet they will become really valuable.
But here is what I am going to do. I challenge the news guys that did this story to a challenge.
I want one of them to open a little restaurant in Buffalo or Dickinson and serve only bugs on the menu.
And open it next to the Three or The Crossing. Where you can get great steak tips or steaks. And we will see which one is in business in a couple months.
I’ll take the ribeye, medium rare, with a baked potato. You can have the grasshopper glazed in chocolate.

Later, Dean

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